Nardwuar: Who are you?
Wesley Willis: I'm Wesley Willis.

How are you doing, Wesley?
I'm doing okay.

Welcome to Canada! How's Canada treating you?
Canada's doing okay, just like smashing a horse's head.

You know, I want to say, Wesley, there is a church dedicated to you in Canada. Have you seen this? The Wesley Willis Church? The Wesley Willis United Church in Clinton, Ontario. (Nardwuar hands Wesley a picture of the Church)
Yeah!

A whole church! The Wesley Willis Church. This is not a joke church. It's like the real deal. What do you think of that, Wesley Willis?
That's cool.

Now you've been kicked out of church, haven't you?
I've been kicked out of church after going crazy on those preachers.

But this church, do you think they would kick you out of the Wesley Willis Church at all?
Hell, no!

And that's in Canada!
Right on.

Now, Wesley, do you remember a guy called Daniel from Montreal who did a movie called the "Daddy of Rock N Roll" about you?
I don't know.

There was like a guy from Montreal who did a movie about you.
Yeah.

Paid for by the Canadian government.
Get the hell out of here, Ronald Reagan!

Ronald Reagan! Old Skull!
Yeah.

How are you enjoying Canada so far, have you seen any caribou?
I haven't seen any caribou.

Have you been to any Taco Bells at all? You're going to have a hard time in Vancouver. There are no Taco Bells at all.
I don't like Taco Bell.

What's wrong wth Taco Bell?
Taco Bell will make you take a poop.

But Taco Bell: run for the border! You've praised Taco Bell before!
Yeah, if you eat Taco Bell, it will make you take a poop.

Wesley Willis, what have you been eating on this particular tour that hasn't been making you take a poop?
Well, I have been eating good food.

What is your favourite food, Wesley Willis?
I like soy milk.

How much soy milk?
I like chocolate and vanilla.

How about in Chicago? What do you eat in Chicago? What about Jim's Polish Sausage on Maxwell Street in Chicago?
I don't eat Polish sausages at all.

Oh come on! You've never had it at all, Wesley Willis?
Polish sausages will make you fat and kill you!

Has anyone, Wesley Willis, been mad that you've written a song about them?
Nobody gets mad at me because I write songs about them. I write songs because I like to write songs. It's my life. I have to do what I want to do.

Has anybody thanked you, Wesley Willis, for doing a song about them? Did Alanis Morissette thank you?
She did.

How did that come about, Wesley? Alanis! A Canadian!
It's back a long time ago.

Welcome to Canada, Wesley Willis! You're down with OPP. So how is everything else going on this particular tour, Wesley Willis?
It's going okay. It's going okay just like Arm & Hammer Baking Soda.

Wesley Willis, have you ever considered doing any collaboration with anybody? There was a rumour you were going to get down with the Ol' Dirty Bastard.
No, I wouldn't.

Have you been proposed any collaborations?
No, I haven't.

Radiohead, I hear?
Yeah.

How did that come about. Please explain, Wesley Willis. That is exciting! Wesley Willis and Radiohead!
I got a band named Wesley Willis and the Drag News. Wesley Willis and the Drag News, Wesley Willis and the Sea Hags. I dig rock.

And rock is where you...
Rock is where I play.

Rock is where you roll...
Rock is where I roll.

Rock is where you roll! Now, Wesley Willis, who invented Britney Spears? Who invented Britney Spears, Wesley Willis?
You mean my song?

Who invented Britney Spears?
I don't know. She invented herself.

Who invented Jello Biafra?
He did. He invented Jello Biafra himself.

Wesley Willis, what don't you want to write about? What don't you want to write about?
I don't write songs about politicians. I write songs about good people, and some who go to jail and some who get locked up.

Wesley Willis, how many songs do you have?
Lots.

How many CDs do you have?
Forty-five.

So forty-five times "lots" equals...?
Lots.

And lots....
Equals lots.

Of....
Music.

By...
Wesley Willis.

And...
The Drag News

What inspires you to write songs, Wesley Willis? Like what is the process you go through to write a song?
I just write songs because I think about them in my mind. I dream about them in my head. That's how I get my ideas from there.

Do you have new songs lined up at all, Wesley Willis?
Yeah, I do.

Can you elaborate on any titles for us at all?
I can't say them all because I've got too many of them.

How many would you say you have?
Seventy-five new songs.

Who is your favourite Canadian?
Everybody.