Nardwuar: Who are you?

Snoop Dogg: Snoop Dogg, the greatest rapper of all time. East side, LBC. LBC's savior. I'm the best thing that rap got going.

Nardwuar: Snoop Doggy Dogg, is it true that you lectured at Oxford? Did you lecture at Oxford University?

Snoop Dogg: I did lecture at Oxford University along with Harvard, Yale and Princeton just to name a few. You know I got bitches everywhere.

Nardwuar: Snoop Doggy Dogg, I think it's amazing, you always take it to another level. The Snoop hot dog. How can anybody top the Snoop hot dog? What can you tell me about the Snoop hot dog?

Snoop Dogg: It's a beautiful thing, ya know. Everybody loves to eat hot dogs, so why not eat a foot long hot dog with Snoop Dogg don't you understand me? No balls included. [laughs]

Nardwuar: What does it taste like, Snoop Dogg? What do your wieners taste like?

Snoop Dogg: Uh [laughs]. They taste good actually. They taste like the best hot dogs you ever had with seasoning salt on the inside of them. For real they got seasoning salt in the hot dogs. [laughs]

Nardwuar: Where can you get them, Snoop? Where can you get the Snoop hot dog?

Snoop Dogg: They gonna be at local venues, at grocery stores. I'm opening up a Snoopamarket, a chain of Snoopamarkets where they're gonna be selling them at, as well as the sporting arenas where they play basketball, football and baseball.

Nardwuar: Snoop, I think it's great, the hot dog, and I think you are a  person you can ask about advice and stuff. What do you think about this doll right here? [Nardwuar hands Snoop a Biz Markie doll ] The Biz Markie doll. Tell me what you think about the Biz Markie doll.

Snoop Dogg: This is the Biz?

Nardwuar: This is the Biz.

Snoop Dogg: [Snoop drops the doll by mistake] Oops, sorry 'bout that Biz you big ass fucker. This here is my homeboy.

Nardwuar: What do you think of the Biz? What can you tell me of the importance of the Biz, Snoop? And the Biz doll? What do you think of this from a marketing perspective?

Snoop Dogg: [Snoop imitates Biz Markie's voice] He's die-a-bowl-acle.

Nardwuar: He's like the amazing beat boxer isn't he? In a cereal box! What do you think?

Snoop Dogg: This is dope. This is dope. I like this. What are they selling this at?

Nardwuar: Probably about $200, Snoop Dogg.

Snoop Dogg: How long ago did you get it?

Nardwuar: It's been on the market about two years or so.

Snoop Dogg: Oh, it just came out?

Nardwuar: Two years actually. And the Biz has been taking it to another level... check it out 'cause you're the wizard of marketing, the Biz clock. [Nardwuar hands Snoop a Biz Markie Clock]  He's got his own clock. Is that something that's ever gone through your mind, a clock?

Snoop Dogg: [laughs]

Nardwuar: A Snooper clock?

Snoop Dogg: Naw, I didn't think about getting no clock. I'm just trippin' on Biz's expression he's something else. [laughs] “I can't believes it. I can't believes I'm sellin' a clock!”

Nardwuar: Snoop Dogg, what's Snoop dog food like? What's the dog food like that you have? 'Cause you have Snoop dog food don't you? Doggy biscuits?

Snoop Dogg: Yeah, some doggy biscuits, dog pet line products. I even got clothes for your dogs, kinda like some of the outfits you wearin', like the sweater you got on is like one of my outfits I got for the dogs.

Nardwuar: Ba-boom!

Snoop Dogg: [laughs]

Nardwuar: You love the dogs don't you Snoop Dogg? Like, you really do love the dogs.

Snoop Dogg: Yeah, I really do. I'm a dog lover. That's just my nature, you know what I'm saying. George Clinton called me the futuristic bow wow.

Nardwuar: 'Cause I wanted to ask you what you think about when you read off stuff like this, like check this out. [Nardwuar hands a paper to Snoop] This was in my local paper, the North Shore News. And check out this headline that we have right here in the North Shore News, and it says "Snoop Dogg Faces Execution Following West Van Attacks."

Snoop Dogg: [reading] "'Snoop Doggy Dog is just bad to the bone,' said neighbours who were bitten and chased by him near West Vancouver British properties over a nine month period...' Oh, this must be a dog named Snoop Doggy Dogg, not me. [laughs]

Nardwuar:  [laughing] Yes it is. [Nardwuar reads from the paper]  “ A Rottweiler cross named Snoop has been put on doggie death row this week.

Snoop Dogg: Wow.

Nardwuar: So how do you feel when dogs get put on doggie death row there, Snoop Dogg? Like, fellow dogs and stuff like that? You love the dogs.

Snoop Dogg: Yeah I wouldn't do it. I wish I had knew about this. I would've gone over there and broke him out. I woulda broke him out. If I'd been there he would've been alive. I would've had to kill or something. Sorry about that Snoop Dogg, you went out like a gangster though.

Nardwuar: A West Van gangsta-G.

Snoop Dogg: Sure did.

Nardwuar: Snoop, what do you remember about being in Korn's video "Twisted Transistor?"

Snoop Dogg: Um, just being the rock 'n' roll star that I am, having fun, actin' a fool.

Nardwuar: And who else was in the video, and what was it all about?

Snoop Dogg: David Banner was in the video. Lil’ Jon was in the video. And um, Xzibit. We actually played Korn, they got some rappers to play them.

Nardwuar: And in the video there's a guy wearing a tartan hat and asking you some questions, and he gets slapped. Do you remember doing that at all?

Snoop Dogg: He imitated you.

Nardwuar: That's what I was wondering, is that an allusion to me?

Snoop Dogg: It is. It was you. We thought about you, Korn, and myself and my manager. Umm—

Nardwuar: Ted?

Snoop Dogg: Naw, um, his name is Dick. You don't know my manager? Dick, last name Inyomouth?

Nardwuar: Ba-boom!

Snoop Dogg: Dick In-Your-Mouth. Yeah, my manager Dick In-Your-Mouth told me to tell you that. [laughs]

Nardwuar: Snoop Doggy Dogg, I just think it's amazing, thank you for giving me the props there! I would like to ask you, why do you like to steal my stuff Snoop Dogg? Remember you first tried to steal my Redd Foxx doll? Do you remember that?

Snoop Dogg: I stole the Blowfly album from you. You wouldn't let me take the Redd Foxx doll, but I see some shit I'm taking today. I'm taking that [points to poster on wall]… I'm taking this[points to record]…I'm taking that…

Nardwuar: I'm not sure, Snoop Dogg. You took the Blowfly album, that was quite intense of you. And actually, I talked to Blowfly and he has a message for you for taking my Blowfly album.

Snoop Dogg: I talked to him too! [laughs]

Nardwuar: And what is Blowfly's message to Snoop Dogg, do you think? Here is Blowfly's message to Snoop Dogg for taking my record, and here we go:

[Nardwuar plays a video-taped message from Blowfly]

Blowfly recorded message: Snoop, you remember you stole that fuckin' record, dog? You are a fuckin' dysentarian bone-buryin', tick-catchin', flea-scratchin', Lachey-racin', hoe-chasin', no-growlin', whole moon-rollin', no-listen bark 'n' pissin', bone-hawkin', collar-carryin', howling cat-beatin', afro-eatin' poor excuse for major mutt. Your breath smell like your butt. I'm outta the cut. In exactly 13 days from now, Snoop, you gon' look down and find beautiful pussy where your lil' dick used to be. [evil laugh that ends with a throaty "augh, augh augh augh"] I’m gone ! [Blowfly gives the finger]

Snoop Dogg: [Laughs] Blowfly! That nigga said "augh, augh augh augh."

Nardwuar: Blowfly to the rescue. Blowfly's sticking up for me, Snoop Doggy Dogg.

Snoop Dogg: That's some OG shit right there 'cause Blowfly's a real muthafucker, you know what I'm talkin' 'bout? And this is the real McCoy [begins to sing]... "Come on and join Blowfly's convoy..."

Nardwuar: So are you ever going to sing with Blowfly on stage? He wants you to sing with him on stage, to "Convoy."

Snoop Dogg: I wanna get down with Blowfly. Blowfly, I wanna get in the studio with you, make some music with you, and do it big, you're one of the artists I'm lookin' forward to working with, too. I always wanted to get down with you.

Nardwuar: And remember also, you mess with Nardwuar The Human Serviette and Blowfly will come after you Snoop. What's gonna happen in 13 days, eh?

Snoop Dogg: I'ma leave you alone 'cause I don't that to happen man. I don't want Uncle Blowfly to put that curse on me.

Nardwuar: Snoop Doggy Dogg, winding up here lastly, what can you tell about the importance of R&B and stuff? [Nardwuar hands Snoop a Record] Here we have Lyn Collins with her song "Think (About It)," which I think you sampled way back when.

Snoop Dogg: Yep, this is a bad record right here. James Brown produced it I believe. Yep.

Nardwuar: Like, why do you like R&B and soul? There's so much of it, like, Slave, too. [Nardwuar hands Snoop a Slave Record]

Snoop Dogg: It's the feel of the music. It's like the sound of it, the feel of it. [looking at the Slave record] Oh man.

Nardwuar: This is Slave, who you sampled for "Gin And Juice."

Snoop Dogg: Yeah, "watchin' ladies, watchin' you."

Nardwuar: Like, these are really important soul/R&B records, you really love it. [Nardwuar hands Snoop a Moments record] You got The Moments?

Snoop Dogg: [sings] "Look at me, I'm in love."

Nardwuar: What do you remember about The Moments, Snoop Dogg?  

Snoop Dogg: [sings] "Look at me, I'm in love. The preacher said, I'm in love." Oh that's that shit right here. I remember they had the, um, falsetto voice. The lead singer was singing high voiced.

Nardwuar: Lastly here Snoop Dogg, how did you get your demo tape to Dr. Dre? You and Warren G. How did you get your tapes to him? How did you get your demo tapes to him in the early days?

Snoop Dogg: [Takes a deep toke] Shit, Warren G got that motherfucker to it. That's his brother so he found a way to get it to him doing uh, a bachelor party. The music got cut off and uh, Warren G. slipped my CD on, well my cassette at the time. He slipped my cassette on and he kept the party rocking.

Nardwuar: Snoop Dogg, what can you tell me here about Special Ed. [Nardwuar hands Snoop a Special Ed Record]  He was a big influence on you, wasn't he? The Special Ed?

Snoop Dogg: Yeah that's my homeboy right here. We finally got together, made a record together. This is my homeboy. I was definitely inspired by him. 'Cause I liked his style, and they way he was just different from everybody else, and how he just… he never really did it like nobody else. He did his shit they way he's supposed to do it, and I liked that, that showed me how to be me.

Nardwuar: Snoop Dogg, I was wondering, what does this mean? [Nardwuar pulls out a hat] You addressed this Soul Plane hat to me, and it says "C.M.F." What does "C.M.F." mean, Snoop Dogg?

Snoop Dogg: Cock-sucking motherfucker.

Nardwuar: Should I take that as a compliment?

Snoop Dogg: Definitely, you suck cock good, here. [laughs]

Nardwuar: Well thank you very much, Snoop Doggy Dogg. Anything else you want to say to the people out there?

Snoop Dogg: I'm the greatest of all time next to Cassius Clay and James Brown. Then there's Snoop Dogg.

Nardwuar: What about Kurtis Blow?

Snoop Dogg: Kurtis Blow good. But like I said, Cassius Clay and James Brown, then Snoop Dogg.

Nardwuar: Cassius Clay, you mean, the greatest, Cassius Clay? [Nardwuar hands Snoop a Cassius Clay Record]

Snoop Dogg: That's what I just told you didn't I? He's the greatest of all time. [looking at Cassius Clay record] Is this him talking?

Nardwuar: Yes it is, and doing some rappin' as well. This is Muhammad Ali. Have you ever met him at all?

Snoop Dogg: Yes, this is the champ. I need this record for the beats that I'm making right now.

Nardwuar: I don't think you can take this Snoop Dogg.

Snoop Dogg: No, I'm just gonna borrow it. [laughs]

Nardwuar: I don't… what is the difference between “taking” and “borrowing,”   Snoop? We've been through this.

Snoop Dogg: Borrowing mean I'm gonna give it back to you. Taking mean you ain't getting shit back. [laughs]

Nardwuar: Why do you always take my stuff, Snoop Doggy Dogg?

Snoop Dogg: Because, let me tell you what I'm gonna do with this. I'm gonna go to my DJ, let him sample it, put it into the turntable to the computer and I'ma give it back to you because I know this means a lot to you. I'm not gonna be like I used to be when I used to be taking your shit. I'm gonna borrow it now. It's gonna be both of our shit. OK? I'm just gonna keep it at my house and whenever you need it you can get it.

Nardwuar: Really? I can come to your house, Snoop Doggy Dogg?

Snoop Dogg: The next interview we do is gonna be at my house.

Nardwuar: Well that's awesome! Thank you so much Snoop Doggy Dogg. And you can have the poster as well. I'm throwing in the poster.

Snoop Dogg: Thank you pimpin'. I like your style. I'm gonna be real harmonic towards you because Blowfly's on your side, and it ain't easy to get Blowfly to ride with you man. That's some gangster shit.

Nardwuar: Well, thanks so much Snoop Doggy Dogg. Keep on rockin' in the free world and doot doola doot doo...

Snoop Dogg: Doot doo. [blows smoke in to the mike] Smoke one. Snoop Dogg, yo.

Also check out:

Nardwuar vs. Snoop 2000
Nardwuar vs. Snoop 2002
Nardwuar vs. Snoop 2003